I have yet an important piece of advice to give you on this subject. Friendship requires a great communication between souls; otherwise it could neither be born nor subsist. Therefore it often happens that, along with these communications of friendship, many others slip in insensibly, and bring into the hearts of friends the same affections, the same inclinations, and the same tastes. But this happens especially when we esteem greatly the person we love; for then we open our heart so fully to his friendship that, together with it, his inclinations and qualities readily enter it whole, whether they be good or evil. Indeed, the bees that make the honey of Heraclea seek only honey; yet with the honey they insensibly suck up the poisonous qualities of the aconite on which they gather. O God! Philothea, here we must carefully put into practice the saying which the Savior of our souls was wont to speak, as the ancients have taught us: _Be good changers and good moneyers;_ that is, receive not false coin along with good, nor base gold with fine gold; separate what is precious from what is vile. Yes, for there is scarcely anyone who has not some imperfection; and what reason is there to accept the faults and imperfections of a friend along with his friendship? Certainly we must love him, notwithstanding his imperfection, but we must neither love nor accept his imperfection; for friendship calls for the sharing of good, and not of evil. As, then, those who sift the gravel of the Tagus separate the gold they find in it to carry away, and leave the sand upon the shore, so those who enjoy the exchanges of a good and holy friendship must separate from them the sand of imperfections, and not let it enter their souls. Saint Gregory Nazianzen relates that many of the friends and admirers of Saint Basil had allowed themselves to imitate him even in his outward imperfections—his slow speech, his absent and pensive air, and even the shape of his beard and his gait; and we see husbands, wives, children, and friends who, having their friends, fathers, husbands, and wives in great esteem, contract through indulgence or imitation a thousand little bad habits in the intercourse of friendship they share. Now, this must by no means be done; each has quite enough of his own evil inclinations without burdening himself also with those of others; and friendship not only does not require this, but, on the contrary, obliges us to help one another to free ourselves mutually from every kind of imperfection. We must indeed gently bear with our friend in his imperfections, but we must not foster him in them, still less take them upon ourselves.
I speak here only of imperfections; for as to sins, they must not even be borne in a friend. It is a weak or wicked friendship to see a friend perish and not come to his aid; to see him die of an abscess, without daring to give him the lancet-stroke that might save him. True and living friendship cannot exist amid sins. They say that the salamander extinguishes the fire in which it lies: even so, sin ruins the friendship in which it takes up its abode. But if it be a passing sin, friendship quickly puts it to flight by a wise correction; whereas if it be a sin that lingers and remains, friendship forthwith perishes; for it can subsist only by virtue. How much more, then, must we fear to sin through friendship? A friend becomes our enemy when he seeks to lead us into sin, and deserves to lose our friendship as soon as he seeks to ruin and damn us; now, attachment to a vicious person is the surest sign of a false friendship. If the one we love is vicious, assuredly our friendship is vicious; for since it cannot rest upon true virtue, it must needs rest upon some wanton virtue, or some sensual quality.
As for the partnerships of merchants formed for the sake of trade, they are but the image of true friendship, for they are made not for love of persons, but for love of gain.
As for the partnerships of merchants formed for the sake of trade, they are but the image of true friendship, for they are made not for love of persons, but for love of gain.
Lastly, remember these two divine sayings, which are as the two great pillars of the Christian life; the one is from the Wise Man: _He that feareth God shall also have a good friendship_; the other is from Saint James: _The friendship of this world is the enemy of God._