On the Difference Between True and Vain Friendships.
Here, Philothea, is the great warning: the honey of Heraclea, which is so poisonous, resembles the other, which is so wholesome; there is great danger of taking the one for the other, or of taking them mingled together, for the goodness of the one would not correct the malignity of the other. We must therefore be on our guard, lest we be deceived in friendship, for Satan often gives us the counterfeit. We begin with virtuous friendship; but soon, if we are not prudent, frivolous friendship mingles with it, then false friendship, then sinful friendship. Yes, even in spiritual friendship there is danger, unless we are very much on our guard, although it is harder to mistake it, because of its purity and whiteness, which make the stains Satan seeks to mingle with it more easily discerned. For this reason, when the devil would bring matters to that point, he proceeds more subtly, and tries to slip in the poison almost without our noticing it.
Here, Philothea, is the great warning: the honey of Heraclea, which is so poisonous, resembles the other, which is so wholesome; there is great danger of taking the one for the other, or of taking them mingled together, for the goodness of the one would not correct the malignity of the other. We must therefore be on our guard, lest we be deceived in friendship, for Satan often gives us the counterfeit. We begin with virtuous friendship; but soon, if we are not prudent, frivolous friendship mingles with it, then false friendship, then sinful friendship. Yes, even in spiritual friendship there is danger, unless we are very much on our guard, although it is harder to mistake it, because of its purity and whiteness, which make the stains Satan seeks to mingle with it more easily discerned. For this reason, when the devil would bring matters to that point, he proceeds more subtly, and tries to slip in the poison almost without our noticing it.
You shall distinguish worldly friendship from holy and virtuous friendship, as one distinguishes the honey of Heraclea from the other kind: the honey of Heraclea is sweeter to the taste than ordinary honey, by reason of the aconite which gives it this added sweetness. In like manner, worldly friendship ordinarily produces a multitude of honeyed words, flatteries, little expressions of admiration for beauty, good grace, and other outward advantages; whereas holy friendship has a simple and frank language, and can praise only virtue and the grace of God, the sole foundation upon which it rests. The honey of Heraclea excites great giddiness in those who eat it; and false friendship likewise occasions a kind of dizziness, which makes the person afflicted by it falter in the way of virtue and devotion, leading him to affectations, foolish displays, petty complaints, petty suspicions, excessive eagerness, ridiculous pretensions, and a thousand other things which surely forebode the approaching ruin of virtue. Holy friendship acts quite differently: it has only simple and modest looks, only pure and frank demonstrations; all its ambition is for Heaven, all its regrets, all its grief, is that God is not sufficiently loved: sure marks of perfect honesty. The honey of Heraclea clouds the sight, and worldly friendship so greatly clouds the judgment that one no longer distinguishes good from evil, takes the most ill-founded pretexts for sound reasons, fears the light, and loves darkness. Holy friendship, on the contrary, has clear-sighted eyes, and far from hiding itself, delights in appearing before good people. Finally, the honey of Heraclea leaves great bitterness in the mouth: so false friendships ordinarily end in quarrels, insults, impostures, sorrows, confusions, and jealousies which often go so far as to become violent and despairing. But good friendship is ever equally sweet, courteous, and amiable; it knows no change, save to become a purer and more perfect union of minds and hearts; a living image of the blessed friendship enjoyed in Heaven.