On Uneasiness.
Uneasiness is not merely a temptation, but a source from which several temptations arise. I will therefore say something about it. Sadness is nothing other than a pain of the spirit which we feel on account of the evil that is within us against our will, whether the evil be outward, as poverty, sickness, contempt; or inward, as ignorance, dryness of heart, repugnance toward the good, and temptations. When, therefore, the soul feels that it has some evil, it is displeased to have it, and this is sadness; the desire to be freed from the evil, and to have the means of deliverance from it, immediately follows sadness, and thus far we are right; for naturally everyone desires what he thinks good, and flees what he thinks evil.
If the soul seeks the means of being delivered from its evil for the love of God, it will seek them with patience, gentleness, humility, and calm, expecting its deliverance more from the goodness and providence of God than from its own effort, ingenuity, and care. If it seeks its deliverance for love of itself, it hastens and grows heated in seeking the means, as though this good depended more on itself than on God. I do not say that it thinks this, but I say that it hastens as though it thought so.
But if it does not at once find what it desires, it falls into great uneasiness and impatience, which, far from removing the evil, only make it worse; and the soul, then falling into excessive anguish and sadness, suffers such a failure of strength and courage that it seems to it that its evil can no longer be remedied. You see, then, that sadness, which at the beginning is just, gives birth to uneasiness; and uneasiness then gives birth to an increase of sadness that is exceedingly dangerous.
Uneasiness is not merely a temptation, but a source from which several temptations arise. I will therefore say something about it. Sadness is nothing other than a pain of the spirit which we feel on account of the evil that is within us against our will, whether the evil be outward, as poverty, sickness, contempt; or inward, as ignorance, dryness of heart, repugnance toward the good, and temptations. When, therefore, the soul feels that it has some evil, it is displeased to have it, and this is sadness; the desire to be freed from the evil, and to have the means of deliverance from it, immediately follows sadness, and thus far we are right; for naturally everyone desires what he thinks good, and flees what he thinks evil.
If the soul seeks the means of being delivered from its evil for the love of God, it will seek them with patience, gentleness, humility, and calm, expecting its deliverance more from the goodness and providence of God than from its own effort, ingenuity, and care. If it seeks its deliverance for love of itself, it hastens and grows heated in seeking the means, as though this good depended more on itself than on God. I do not say that it thinks this, but I say that it hastens as though it thought so.
But if it does not at once find what it desires, it falls into great uneasiness and impatience, which, far from removing the evil, only make it worse; and the soul, then falling into excessive anguish and sadness, suffers such a failure of strength and courage that it seems to it that its evil can no longer be remedied. You see, then, that sadness, which at the beginning is just, gives birth to uneasiness; and uneasiness then gives birth to an increase of sadness that is exceedingly dangerous.
Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall the soul, after sin; for, just as seditions and inward troubles utterly ruin a state and prevent it from resisting its enemies, so our heart, when troubled and disquieted within, no longer has the strength either to preserve the virtues it has acquired, or even to resist the enemy’s temptations, for he then does his utmost to fish, as the saying goes, in troubled waters.
Anxiety springs from an unruly desire to be delivered from the evil we feel, or to obtain the good we hope for; and yet there is nothing that aggravates evil more, or keeps good farther away, than anxiety and haste. Birds remain caught in nets and snares because, once entangled, they struggle and flutter greatly to escape, and thereby only become more and more ensnared. When, therefore, you are pressed by the desire to be delivered from some evil, or to attain some good, first of all set your mind at rest, still your judgment and your will; and then, quietly and gently, follow the impulse of your desire, taking in order the means that are suitable; and when I say quietly, I do not mean negligently, but without haste, without trouble or anxiety: otherwise, instead of obtaining the full effect of your desire, you will spoil everything and only entangle yourself still more.
Anxiety springs from an unruly desire to be delivered from the evil we feel, or to obtain the good we hope for; and yet there is nothing that aggravates evil more, or keeps good farther away, than anxiety and haste. Birds remain caught in nets and snares because, once entangled, they struggle and flutter greatly to escape, and thereby only become more and more ensnared. When, therefore, you are pressed by the desire to be delivered from some evil, or to attain some good, first of all set your mind at rest, still your judgment and your will; and then, quietly and gently, follow the impulse of your desire, taking in order the means that are suitable; and when I say quietly, I do not mean negligently, but without haste, without trouble or anxiety: otherwise, instead of obtaining the full effect of your desire, you will spoil everything and only entangle yourself still more.
_O Lord!_ said David, _my soul is always in my hands, and I have not forgotten Thy law._ Examine more than once a day, Philothea, but at least morning and evening, whether you have your soul in your hands, or whether some passion or anxiety has not taken it from you. Consider whether you have your heart at your command, or whether it has not slipped from your hands to engage itself in some inordinate affection of love, hatred, envy, covetousness, fear, sadness, or joy. And if it has gone astray, first of all seek it out, and gently bring it back into the presence of God, placing your affections and desires beneath the obedience and guidance of His divine will; for, just as those who fear to lose something precious hold it tightly in their hand, so we, following David’s example, must always say: _O my God! my soul is in danger of being lost; therefore I always carry it in my hands, and this is why I have not forgotten Thy law._
Never allow your desires to trouble you, however small or unimportant they may be; for, after the small ones, the great and most important ones would find your heart more disposed to disturbance and disorder. When you feel anxiety coming on, commend yourself to God, and resolve to do nothing at all that your desire asks of you until the anxiety has entirely passed, unless the matter cannot be put off; in that case, with gentle and quiet effort, restrain the impetuosity of your desire, moderating and calming it as best you can; and then do the thing, not according to your desire, but according to reason.
Never allow your desires to trouble you, however small or unimportant they may be; for, after the small ones, the great and most important ones would find your heart more disposed to disturbance and disorder. When you feel anxiety coming on, commend yourself to God, and resolve to do nothing at all that your desire asks of you until the anxiety has entirely passed, unless the matter cannot be put off; in that case, with gentle and quiet effort, restrain the impetuosity of your desire, moderating and calming it as best you can; and then do the thing, not according to your desire, but according to reason.
If you can disclose your anxiety to him who guides your soul, or at least to some prudent and wise friend, doubt not that you will straightway be relieved; for the sharing of the heart’s sorrows works the same effect upon the soul as bleeding does upon the body of one who has a continual fever; it is the remedy of remedies. Therefore did Saint Louis the King give this counsel to his son: When you have anything weighing upon your heart, tell it straightway to your confessor, or to some person in whom you may trust, and the consolation you shall receive thereby will help you to bear your sorrow lightly.