Two remarkable examples on this subject.
This matter is of such great importance to you, Philothea, that I shall make no difficulty of dwelling upon it at greater length. The young man of whom Saint Jerome speaks, who, lying bound with silken bands upon a soft bed, was tempted by all that can be conceived of a woman’s impudence, who was employed to shake his constancy, must doubtless have been sorely tempted; and what did his senses and imagination not suffer then? Yet, amid so terrible a storm of sensual temptations, he testifies that his heart was not overcome, and that his will in no way consented thereto: for his soul, seeing all things in revolt against her and having nothing at her command in his whole body save his tongue, bit it off with his teeth and spat it in the face of that vile woman, who was more cruel to him than the most furious executioners. Thus the tyrant, who had despaired of overcoming this noble soul by pain, tried in vain to overcome it by pleasure.
This matter is of such great importance to you, Philothea, that I shall make no difficulty of dwelling upon it at greater length. The young man of whom Saint Jerome speaks, who, lying bound with silken bands upon a soft bed, was tempted by all that can be conceived of a woman’s impudence, who was employed to shake his constancy, must doubtless have been sorely tempted; and what did his senses and imagination not suffer then? Yet, amid so terrible a storm of sensual temptations, he testifies that his heart was not overcome, and that his will in no way consented thereto: for his soul, seeing all things in revolt against her and having nothing at her command in his whole body save his tongue, bit it off with his teeth and spat it in the face of that vile woman, who was more cruel to him than the most furious executioners. Thus the tyrant, who had despaired of overcoming this noble soul by pain, tried in vain to overcome it by pleasure.
The story of the combat of Saint Catherine of Siena is no less admirable; here it is in brief. The evil spirit obtained one day from God permission to test the virtue of this holy virgin, and to use for this purpose the greatest fury he could, provided, however, that he spared her person. Accordingly, he came to suggest to her all manner of evil thoughts, and, to move her yet more, taking with him several of his companions, to whom he had given various shapes, he made with them a thousand and a thousand indecent displays, which he accompanied with the coarsest words and entreaties. Now, although all these things were external, they nevertheless, by means of the senses, penetrated deep into the heart of the virgin, which, as she herself confessed, was quite full of them, nothing remaining untouched save the fine, pure, higher will, which was not stirred by this tempest and this flood of vileness. All this lasted a very long time, until one day, when Our Lord had appeared to her, she said: “Where were You, O my sweet Lord, while my heart was full of such darkness and filth?” To which He replied: “My daughter, I was within your heart.” “And how,” she answered, “could You dwell in my heart, while there was so much vileness in it? Do You then dwell in places so indecent?” And Our Lord said to her: “Tell me, my dear daughter, did all these foul thoughts that were in your heart give you pleasure or sorrow, bitterness or joy?” And she answered: “Extreme bitterness and sorrow.” “And who then,” replied the Savior, “put this great bitterness and sorrow within your heart, if not I, who dwelt hidden in the midst of your soul? Be sure, my daughter, that had I not been present, those thoughts which surrounded your will, unable to seize it, would very quickly have overcome it, and entered within, and would have been readily welcomed by your free will, and thus would have brought death to your soul. But because I was in the midst of you, I placed in your heart a sorrow and a resistance whereby you rejected the temptation as far as you could; and since you could not do so as much as you would have wished, you felt great displeasure, and great hatred both of the temptation and of yourself. Thus these trials have been for you a great merit and a great gain, and your virtue has thereby grown only stronger and greater.”
Do you see, Philothea, how this fire was covered with ashes, and how temptation and delight itself, having entered the heart, had surrounded the will, which nevertheless, aided solely by her Saviour, resisted with bitterness, displeasure, and abhorrence of the evil suggested to her, perpetually refusing her consent to the sin that hemmed her in on every side? O God! what anguish for a soul that loves God, not even to know whether He is within her or not, and whether the divine love for which she fights is wholly extinguished within her or not! But this is the very flower of the perfection of heavenly love: to make the lover suffer and fight for love, without even knowing whether he has the love for which and by which he fights.