Of a More Interior Humility.
But you desire, Philothea, that I should lead you further into humility; for to do as I have said requires almost more wisdom than humility. I shall therefore satisfy you. Many dare not think of the particular graces God has bestowed upon them, for fear of taking vain glory therein; wherein indeed they are greatly mistaken; for since, as the Angelic Doctor teaches, the true means of attaining the love of God is to consider the benefits we have received from Him, the more we know these benefits, the more we shall love Him from Whom we have them; and since particular graces touch us more powerfully than common graces, so ought they to be considered more attentively. Certainly, nothing can humble us so much before the mercy of God as the multitude of His benefits, and nothing can humble us so much before His justice as the multitude of our sins. Let us consider what He has done for us, and what we have done against Him; and as we consider our sins in detail, let us likewise consider His graces in detail. We need not fear that the knowledge of what He has placed within us will puff us up, provided we are mindful of this truth, that whatever good there is in us is not of ourselves. Alas! are not mules still clumsy and foul beasts, though laden with the precious and perfumed furnishings of the prince? “What have we that we have not received?” says the Apostle; “and if we have received it, why do we glory in it, as though we had not received it?” On the contrary, the lively consideration of the graces received ought to help us become humble; for knowledge begets gratitude. But if, upon seeing the graces God has bestowed upon us, some foolish vanity should come to tickle our hearts, the sure remedy would be to have recourse to the consideration of our ingratitude, our imperfections, and our miseries: by considering what we did when God was not with us, we shall know that what we do when He is with us is neither of our own making nor of our own devising. We shall nevertheless enjoy these graces, and rejoice in them, but we shall give glory for them to God alone, because He is their author.
But you desire, Philothea, that I should lead you further into humility; for to do as I have said requires almost more wisdom than humility. I shall therefore satisfy you. Many dare not think of the particular graces God has bestowed upon them, for fear of taking vain glory therein; wherein indeed they are greatly mistaken; for since, as the Angelic Doctor teaches, the true means of attaining the love of God is to consider the benefits we have received from Him, the more we know these benefits, the more we shall love Him from Whom we have them; and since particular graces touch us more powerfully than common graces, so ought they to be considered more attentively. Certainly, nothing can humble us so much before the mercy of God as the multitude of His benefits, and nothing can humble us so much before His justice as the multitude of our sins. Let us consider what He has done for us, and what we have done against Him; and as we consider our sins in detail, let us likewise consider His graces in detail. We need not fear that the knowledge of what He has placed within us will puff us up, provided we are mindful of this truth, that whatever good there is in us is not of ourselves. Alas! are not mules still clumsy and foul beasts, though laden with the precious and perfumed furnishings of the prince? “What have we that we have not received?” says the Apostle; “and if we have received it, why do we glory in it, as though we had not received it?” On the contrary, the lively consideration of the graces received ought to help us become humble; for knowledge begets gratitude. But if, upon seeing the graces God has bestowed upon us, some foolish vanity should come to tickle our hearts, the sure remedy would be to have recourse to the consideration of our ingratitude, our imperfections, and our miseries: by considering what we did when God was not with us, we shall know that what we do when He is with us is neither of our own making nor of our own devising. We shall nevertheless enjoy these graces, and rejoice in them, but we shall give glory for them to God alone, because He is their author.
Thus the Blessed Virgin confesses that God hath done great things in her; but it is only to humble herself and glorify God: My soul, saith she, _doth magnify the Lord, because He hath done great things in me_.
We often say that we are nothing, that we are misery itself and the refuse of the world; but we would be very sorry if anyone took us at our word and spoke thus of us. On the contrary, we pretend to flee and hide ourselves, so that people may run after us and seek us out: we affect to take the lowest place in order to attain the first with greater honour. True humility does not pretend to be humble, nor does it speak many words of humility; for it desires not only to hide the other virtues, but also, and chiefly, wishes to hide itself; and if it were possible for it to lie, feign, or scandalize our neighbour, it would perform acts of arrogance and pride, in order to hide itself therein and live there wholly unknown and secret. Here, then, is my advice, Philothea: either let us say no words of humility, or let us say them with a true inward feeling, in keeping with what we utter outwardly; let us never lower our eyes without also humbling our hearts; let us not pretend to wish to be last, unless we truly wish it with all our heart. And I hold this rule to be so general that I make no exception to it; I add only that good manners sometimes require us to offer the advantage to those who manifestly will not accept it; this is neither duplicity nor false humility, for then the mere offer of the advantage is the beginning of honour; and since we cannot give it to them in full, it is no harm to give them the beginning of it. I say the same of certain expressions of honour or respect which, strictly speaking, do not seem true, and yet are true enough, provided the heart of the one who utters them truly intends to honour and respect the person to whom they are addressed; for although the words somewhat exaggerate the thoughts, we do no wrong to use them when common usage requires it; and I would still have the words fitted as closely as possible to our feelings, so that we may follow simplicity and candour in all things and everywhere. A truly humble man would rather have another say of him that he is miserable, that he is nothing, that he is worth nothing, than say it himself: or at least, if he knows that it is said of him, he does not contradict it, but heartily agrees with the opinion of others; for firmly believing it to be true, he is glad that they hold the same opinion.
Several say that they leave mental prayer to the perfect, and that they themselves are not worthy to practise it; others protest that they dare not receive Communion often, because they do not feel themselves pure enough; some pretend that they fear to bring devotion into disrepute by meddling with it, on account of their great misery and frailty; others refuse to employ their talents in the service of God and their neighbour, because, they say, knowing their own misery well, they are afraid of growing proud if they become the instrument of some good, and dread being consumed in seeking to enlighten others. All this is nothing but a device and a sort of humility not only false, but malicious, whereby they would tacitly and subtly blame the things of God, or at least cloak with the mantle of humility their love of their own opinion, their own temper, and their own sloth.
_Ask God for a miracle, either on high in Heaven or below in the depths of the abyss_, said the prophet to the wretched Ahaz: and he answered: _No, I will not ask, neither will I tempt the Lord._ O wicked man! He makes a show of bearing great reverence to God, and under pretence of humility excuses himself from aspiring to a grace which divine goodness offers him. But does he not see that when God would favour us, it is pride to refuse; that the very nature of God’s gifts obliges us to receive them, and that it is humility to obey and follow His desires as closely as we can? Now God’s desire is that we should be perfect, uniting ourselves to Him and imitating Him to the best of our ability. The proud man, who trusts in himself, has good reason to dare undertake nothing; but the humble man is all the more courageous for knowing himself to be weak; and the more he discovers his own nothingness, the bolder he becomes, because he puts all his trust in God, Who takes pleasure in making His power shine forth in our weakness, and in raising up the works of His mercy upon the foundation of our misery. We must therefore humbly and devoutly undertake whatever the directors of our souls deem fitting for our spiritual advancement.
_Ask God for a miracle, either on high in Heaven or below in the depths of the abyss_, said the prophet to the wretched Ahaz: and he answered: _No, I will not ask, neither will I tempt the Lord._ O wicked man! He makes a show of bearing great reverence to God, and under pretence of humility excuses himself from aspiring to a grace which divine goodness offers him. But does he not see that when God would favour us, it is pride to refuse; that the very nature of God’s gifts obliges us to receive them, and that it is humility to obey and follow His desires as closely as we can? Now God’s desire is that we should be perfect, uniting ourselves to Him and imitating Him to the best of our ability. The proud man, who trusts in himself, has good reason to dare undertake nothing; but the humble man is all the more courageous for knowing himself to be weak; and the more he discovers his own nothingness, the bolder he becomes, because he puts all his trust in God, Who takes pleasure in making His power shine forth in our weakness, and in raising up the works of His mercy upon the foundation of our misery. We must therefore humbly and devoutly undertake whatever the directors of our souls deem fitting for our spiritual advancement.
To think one knows what one does not know is extreme folly; to wish to play the scholar in matters one is ignorant of is an insufferable vanity: for my part, I would not even play the scholar in what I did know, nor would I pretend to ignorance. When charity requires it, one must communicate freely and sincerely to one’s neighbour, not only what is necessary for his instruction, but also what is useful for his consolation; for humility, which conceals and covers virtues in order to preserve them, nevertheless causes them to appear when charity commands, so that they may be increased, adorned, and perfected. In this humility resembles that tree of the islands of Tylos, which at night draws in and keeps closed its beautiful scarlet flowers, and opens them only in the morning at sunrise, so that the inhabitants of the country say that these flowers sleep at night. In like manner humility covers and conceals all that is virtue and human perfection; and never causes them to appear except for charity, which, being not a human but a heavenly virtue, not moral but divine, is truly the sun of the virtues, over which it must always reign: and if it should happen that humility harms charity, this is an unmistakable proof that such humility is false and evil.
I would neither play the fool nor play the sage; for if humility prevents me from playing the sage, simplicity and frankness will likewise prevent me from playing the fool; and if vanity is contrary to humility, artifice, affectation, and cunning are contrary to frankness and simplicity. But if some great servants of God have feigned themselves fools, they are to be admired, but not imitated; for they had such particular and extraordinary motives for doing so that no one should draw any conclusion therefrom for himself: and as for David, who danced and leaped before the ark somewhat more than custom and propriety required, it was not that he wished to play the fool; but simply that by these outward movements he might give vent to the extreme and inconceivable joy he felt in his heart. It is true that when Michal his wife reproached him for it as an act of folly, he was not vexed at seeing himself abased, but, on the contrary, continuing his unaffected demonstrations of joy, he showed himself glad to suffer a little shame for his God. Whereupon I shall tell you that, if for acts of true and sincere devotion you are accused of baseness, folly, or madness, humility should make you find sweet that blessed humiliation, whose cause will not be in you, but in those who inflict it upon you.